Badbutt update

Well well well, so

We meet again.

I haven't been on the internet much. :) Hilarious! So excited you have come back to read another post of mine! My mind has been wandering all over the place. Ok so here it is I'm not sure if this experience is crazier than my whole  Getting out of the military then driving from Colorado to ft Myers Florida with my old friend king Badbutt then ft Myers Florida to Los Angeles  with 35 bucks to my name. while being homeless amongst it all. I remember I wanted to start school so bad that I told my mom if worse comes to worse I'll just stay in the woman's homeless shelter until things got solid but I knew I'd find a couch to crash on somehow.

So I quit college this week. And mentally I seriously went crazy for about 3 days. Couldn't get out of bed, couldn't stop crying, couldn't eat, couldn't find it in my body to get up and do something productive. I quite honestly felt forced to even post on social media but at the same time felt horrible for not being able to produce any good  content. But I came to the realization of something.

I could and should have been more responsible in school. School is very important! I love learning in school so much I learned to live without my cellphone.(probably one of my biggest lessons I've learned in life so far) I used to even have an addiction to my cellphone & I would never put it down especially at the dinner table. (Everyone hated this about me) my excuse would always be so what it's my job But anyhow, school isn't where my heart is it. It  just seriously isn't I don't believe that not graduating  will effect my future . Of course I should/could have finished it out but Currently  I'm  dealing with more serious issues than what passes the eye. It's crazy because next week is the last class of the semester. ( ultimately realized even though I loved school I was probably only trying to finish it because I knew it was something that would make my mom proud and that's just something I want to do)

Let me explain a little of what my school experience felt like to me. Here I am fresh out of the army 22 years old 155 pounds. what most call "ghetto Mexican" new in a private school located in the family orientated location of Burbank California very timid and a bit shy. Going into New York film academy I knew what I wanted the most was to meet people. Coolest part of my school was that they were all foreigners. Slovenian, Chinese, Vietnamese, some  from Lebanon , Even Australian. It was amazing such a nice fresh breath of air but I felt a bit intimated my mind has never been put in a predicament where I've ever had to interact with people like them. I wasn't even supposed to make it this far. For all I  know I should have been back home in fort Myers Florida still working at the local flea market I could have been an alcoholic or addicted to some sort of insane drug. ( I have two brothers one dealt with alcoholism and the other with a drug addiction one is in prison now ) mind you I'm an idiot sometimes too my brothers situation gets way deeper I'll probably talk about that some other time if you want to know. So anyways meeting these new people to me seemed like a mission waiting to be accomplished

 I knew I was nervous but I knew I could eventually win there hearts over.

And so it begun I loved learning about everyone's culture and where they came from it was different the people who I ended hating the first days of school ended up being my closest friends. I met Alex on the first day of school and we became friends right that very moment. He changed my life I starting dressing less provocative. And annunciation my words properly. First semester flew by so fast I was ready to take on second semester. 1st semester couldn't have been any more perfect. Everyone was getting along let's get this straight I have 22 students in my damn class Alex drops out beginning of 2nd semester and goes to LA FILM to study music. Kids in class start forming there tiny little squads. Then you  realize the gifted kids all want to work together what a surprise I didn't mind it was cool you know but I wouldn't have mind learning from them lol school is about learning and experiencing and building connections for the workbase to come. These kids were so immature I mean I'm immature as hell but even though I'm immature I'm polite. And I'm humble. Unless you push the wrong bottoms but that was the old me. I'm the smart one I'll learn from anyone there's enough resources in the world I'll share anything with you if you can share anything new with me. But some were just too immature to realize these are the baby steps to the industry. We have to think big now might as well. Think of what you want to be now then do something everyday to work towards it. Your talent Can be great  but who you know sometimes may take you further. (Note I said sometimes )

Anyways I've tried explains to the students on multiple occasions they were unfair and a few things they did just needed to be dropped. I would walk into the class and the entire class would seriously go quiet. Alot became uneasy around my presence. I mean I'm honored but come on now lol I just want a good chilled vibe class the vibes were so off at times I even didn't want to go to school . My wise friend told me anything that makes you unhappy you can either do one of two things stay or go. Fundraising for my movie wasn't properly executed. It was rushed and not written with complete passion I want to do this over. This right here is my new start. This was my wakeup call to life. The beautiful start of a new beginning I went through a three month creative block and overcame so many self worth obstacles but now I am ready to rock and roll and kick anyone's ass. (Not literally I'm a lover not a fighter ... Maybe) My face might be gone from social media for a while but you'll see the difference when I pop up again :)