Change is good

Hey love,

So a couple of questions have come about , why don't I post as much on Instagram, why don't I make skits anymore, and why have I changed.

I have this crazy theory I always have crazy theories about how life works. ME I just feel like since I grew up in what I believe was a low income household my mind set was really open to the possibilities life holds. If someone was to tell me a person could make 10k a month and that not even be enough I would flip out and say that's insane. Visiting new places and meeting different types of people who come from different walks is so beautiful everyone I meet rubs off on me in some way. It keeps me very open minded. And ... I CONSTANTLY CHANGE.

So one, I changed because I learn .. I've learned so much Los Angeles human interaction I believe I've even started to dress differently I started feeling uncomfortable in front of cameras in general unless I'm being funny I think I'm getting most in the personailty category but every now and then I know I have to embrace who I'm becoming. The whole beach photos hoot I did I was so uncomfortable the whole time I guess there are moments I still want to be sexy but for the most part I like dressing modest or even tom boy ish. This transition was so hard for me especially with a fan base because everyone notices and they always bring it up. I feel nervous about this change because for the people who don't know me. Are most likely gonna bring every wild thing I've done in my life.
You know when people bring up your past when they see you're trying to change for the better.

2 why don't I post on Instagram . School.

I have time for very minimal , I'm also trying to lose weight I don't think I wanna place myself in front of a camera until I reach my goal. I'm an open book. There isn't much to me if I feel a certain way I say it if you make me feel a certain way I'm gonna tell you. Before moving to LA I had been reminded about my weight gain but I really didn't see it since I saw myself everyday. But the close I got to LA , then moving to LA . Everyone I felt was constantly reminding me that I was overweight " hey I want you on my show but you have to lose 15 pounds" , "wow I would love to shoot you hit me up in 10 pounds" "you don't have the look we're going for " I feel like at that time in my life I was practically being hammered 24 /7 about my appearance it kinda just stuck. I look in the mirror and see change for a bit but then something happens where I feel like I'm never going to lose enough.

I love myself though I love my body I love being thick and my big muscular legs, big butt and pretty toned tummy. I just hate that I love pleasing everyone and when people tell me they don't like my look I'm so open to changing it because I'm like a chameleon. I don't mind change so idk it's a very confusing concept.

Anyways hope you guys are good what else would you like to know